How To Change Your Outcomes, Even When You Think You Can't | Jessica Emily

How To Change Your Outcomes, Even When You Think You Can't | Jessica Emily

How important are the decisions you make and what happens when you make that decision? 

The world will open up for you when you make a decision and stick to it, by living it out fully. 

I remember, at 20 years old I had a boyfriend who was so excited to move out of his childhood home that he shared with his mum. I asked him why and he replied with “Oh because she has too many biscuits in the house. I can’t lose weight or train because there's too many biscuits in the house”. 

Now, to this day, I vividly remember my response.  

“Yes, but does she tie you to a chair and force feed you biscuits? Are biscuits all you have to eat at dinner time?” I asked. 

I challenged him to really think if his mum was to blame for his diet and physical shape.  

When he understood my point, he answered “No” in a disheartened/don’t put me on the spot like that kind of way. 

In life, we all have the choice to make the choices we want (believe me, even if you are broke , hating your job or in an unhappy marriage you can still make choices). These choices we make determine our outcome in so many ways. Allow me to explain.

Eat biscuits = feel sad about yourself because you don’t train or stick to a healthy regime.  

(that's your choice... to eat biscuits)

However, the outcome of this decision is that you chose to feel sad, not go to the gym and stick to a healthy training regime. 

Now, in order to feel better about yourself in these situations, often times people transfer the ownership of the problem to another person i.e. they blame someone else for their outcome. 

When in reality, no one is tying you down and force feeding you to eat biscuits. It is your choice to eat biscuits. Passing blame to someone else for having them in the house simply makes you feel better. 

It allows you to keep going around in the same vicious cycle of not achieving what you want in life. 

Now, on the other hand the minute we make a decision i.e. to eat no more biscuits, and we are firm about it, and actually adopt it fully in life, things will begin to change in your life. You begin to take ownership for yourself and your outcomes and you begin to understand that you are truly responsible here. 

No one force fed you the biscuits! 

Most importantly when you make a decision and stick to it you prove to yourself your word means something. You prove to yourself that you can stick to the commitments you make to yourself. 

Now, at that moment, I knew exactly the type of person he was and subsequently, we broke up not long after that.  He was someone who was okay to not take responsibility for his own actions, and allow himself to give up his personal power by blaming others. 

He was okay to put the blame on other people for his own inability to make decisions based on his own goals. He did not have the personal willpower to say no to the biscuits in pursuit of his higher goal or purpose. 

Now, what I want to highlight here is the importance of making decisions, based on you and what you want to achieve

What would have happened if you made a decision today? 

What if you consciously decide to substitute biscuits with fruit? Or make the decision to walk to work? 

If you don’t substitute the biscuits for fruit, it is no one's fault but your own. Because ultimately it is no one's choice but your own. 

At the end of the day, you are responsible for you. As soon as you pass the blame on others for not achieving what you want you are essentially giving up any personal power you have. 

You are making other people responsible for you, when let’s face it they aren’t. They have enough on their plate worrying about themselves, why do you think they should be worried about you too? 

When you make a decision in your life and stick to it, I have seen that the world does this bizarre thing and opens up and makes it easier for you once you have made the decision and stick to it.  

When you make that firm commitment of making a decision, all of a sudden things become easier. A great example, I made a decision that one day I wanted to undertake intermittent fasting. I would stop eating each day at 2pm, and commence again at 6am. 

When it came time to dinner, if my boyfriend ordered Pizza and I decided to eat a slice that is MY choice to break my commitment to fasting. There are few important things to point out here: 

  • He didn't tell me to break my fast and eat pizza
  • The pizza didn't tell me to break my fast and eat pizza
  • The world wasn’t going to end if I didn’t eat the pizza 

If my commitment to myself, and my willpower wavered in this situation and I broke my fast and ate the pizza then the choice would be no-ones but mine. Therefore I would take full responsibility. 

Whereas If I made the commitment to fasting, and the pizza arrived and I kept up with my commitment then I am showing the commitment to myself and proving to myself that my word means something

Not only am I showing how firm I am with my decision to myself and others but I am telling myself and the world that when I make a decision, I will stick with it. When this happens and you prove it to yourself that you can stick to decisions, it begins to show across all areas of your life. 

Now, I am not going to lie to you and tell you this is a walk in the park, this is challenging and takes commitment. But when it comes to these things that are challenging in life, I always think if this challenge is aligned with my end goal and is the payoff will be worth it? 

I know the payoff will be super worth it, whenever I stick to any decision I make. That inner feeling of confidence and knowing that I can do it feels too damn good to not do it

But please don’t ever be that person who says they can’t train or stick to a fitness regime because there are too many biscuits in the house. 

You are responsible for you. 

You’ve Got This.

Written By Jessica Emily


Knowing from a very young age that ‘anything is possible’, Jessica has spent her life not only pushing boundaries but creating entirely new ones. Whilst still in her 20’s she’s already successfully launched, managed and sold two businesses.

Throughout her career, Jessica has taught hundreds of people how to ‘Moonshot’ their potential. Using her entrepreneurial flair, Jessica has a strong track record of empowering professionals to overcome obstacles leading to; promotions, increased income and greater business growth.